For colored girls... So glad I'm not colored... or a girl

First of all let me say this is not a bad review of "For Colored Girls" the movie. I actually can appreciate it as a movie... and nothing more. The same way I appreciate Mulan or Dreamgirls or Takers ... Movies that may be real life for some people but for me, entertainment.

It took me a while to actually see the movie, I saw too many reviews ahead of time (which I don't recommend, I always think its best to see a movie or read a book on your own with no previous information) and it filled me with too many conflicting ideas. I had half of the world saying "this is the best movie ever", "Best depiction of Black Women in all different levels of Society" and then the other half of the world saying "This is the worst movie ever", "Makes you think all black men are dogs".I thought neither. I definitely don't think its the best movie I've ever seen but its not the worst...What it did make me realize is that I appreciate the Black women I know.

Women , not girls.

My mother and my aunts in particular remind me that we are not as a whole a group of victims that things just happen to.

One situation from the movie in particular just blew my mind!I won't tell the story but Kimberly Elise's character obviously was not raised by a woman like my aunts and momma. I guarantee you that her man would've either gotten right or died if he ever met Esther Louise, Oretha Lee, Patricia Lee, Bertha May, Tanny or Fletta Marie. Trust.

I have experienced bad relationships, jobs, friendships but I'm still not a victim. I work hard to make a change when some things not right for me, my blackness is not a hindrance or an excuse that I fall back on. It is a part of me but not my everything, it is beautiful but not the only thing beautiful about me.

I ask one thing for those who want to see me no matter what race, nationality or sex ... Remember that movie is about colored girls, not Black Women. In my humble opinion

Show Yourself Friendly

So you may have noticed by now that this blog is dedicated to things that I experience first hand. I try to jot down things as they happen so I won't forget and this little saying was in my notebook.
It makes me think of a few people in particular. I live in what some would call "the hood". I just call it home. I've been in this neighborhood for twenty... Wait, let's not get technical but I've been here quite a while (lol).
My father is known by EVERYBODY in this neighborhood. When he had his Garage open he would open the gate every morning, stand outside and say hello to every one as they were going to work or taking kids to school. At first some may
Have thought him strange but over the years he has become somewhat of a fixture in this neighborhood. People would come to him for advice, and help and he always there ready and willing. Definitely friendly.

I definitely do not stand outside every morning to greet everyone that walks by but all of us (my parents kids) have a habit of speaking when we enter a room, greeting even strangers when we make eye contact and respecting elders. Friendly.
There is one particular gentleman that we all speak to although most other people don't. His name is Mr. Ernie. At first glance he looks like a crazed homeless person and quite scary. But over the years we have learned more about him. He is a
Viet Nam Vet who lost everything after the war. His wife, kids and his mind. He flips out sometimes and drinks so he doesn't remember. He has never asked me for anything but I always give him a smile and a wave. Respect him by calling him Mr. Ernie
And may even hold a short conversation. Friendly.

I sometimes travel late and alone and like I said before I live in the hood. Not always the safest place to be by yourself. One night I was coming home from Manhattan. It had to be about 2:30 in the morning. It was very dark and quiet. This guy (very drunk) comes
Out of nowhere and starts following me. I got a little anxious and started to walk faster. This made him very mad and he started cursing and moving faster. Out of the blue comes Mr. Ernie. I won't repeat what he said or did but needless to say the
Man didn't bother me anymore. When I tried to thank Mr. Ernie and asked him where he came from he told me that he's always watching for me and my family and not to thank him because we're friends.

Think about it.

Detour

It's 9' o clock in the morning and I'm just going to make it on time for work and what happens? I see one of the finest men I've come across in quite some time is a conductor on the a train. We make eye contact and smile. Oh yea he likes me. One problem.

I don't take the A train to get to my job. The A was running on the F line for a few stops but wasn't going where I needed to be. Aint that how it always happens?
I had a choice.
I could take the detour that I knew would be fun but only take me farther from my ultimate goal or I could stay on the path for my destination.

A few years ago I wouldn't have even had to think about it. I would have gotten on the train, gotten his number and had a little fun.

Am I still that girl?

I gave him a wink and let the train doors close. You see I am no longer "that girl", I'm growing into this woman. A woman that is past allowing a "good time" keep me from my future. I've had enough good times to keep me catching up for years. How often have we done something, gone somewhere or entertained something knowing it would deter us from our destinies?

Am I saying that you can't have fun on your path? Absolutely not! But as for me and my house (lol TJSM stand up) we're about more than the right now. We are focused on the forever.