For colored girls... So glad I'm not colored... or a girl

First of all let me say this is not a bad review of "For Colored Girls" the movie. I actually can appreciate it as a movie... and nothing more. The same way I appreciate Mulan or Dreamgirls or Takers ... Movies that may be real life for some people but for me, entertainment.

It took me a while to actually see the movie, I saw too many reviews ahead of time (which I don't recommend, I always think its best to see a movie or read a book on your own with no previous information) and it filled me with too many conflicting ideas. I had half of the world saying "this is the best movie ever", "Best depiction of Black Women in all different levels of Society" and then the other half of the world saying "This is the worst movie ever", "Makes you think all black men are dogs".I thought neither. I definitely don't think its the best movie I've ever seen but its not the worst...What it did make me realize is that I appreciate the Black women I know.

Women , not girls.

My mother and my aunts in particular remind me that we are not as a whole a group of victims that things just happen to.

One situation from the movie in particular just blew my mind!I won't tell the story but Kimberly Elise's character obviously was not raised by a woman like my aunts and momma. I guarantee you that her man would've either gotten right or died if he ever met Esther Louise, Oretha Lee, Patricia Lee, Bertha May, Tanny or Fletta Marie. Trust.

I have experienced bad relationships, jobs, friendships but I'm still not a victim. I work hard to make a change when some things not right for me, my blackness is not a hindrance or an excuse that I fall back on. It is a part of me but not my everything, it is beautiful but not the only thing beautiful about me.

I ask one thing for those who want to see me no matter what race, nationality or sex ... Remember that movie is about colored girls, not Black Women. In my humble opinion

shuckin and jivin

Can't believe it and sorry to be the bearer of bad news but... Racism is alive, well and thriving. For those of you that are my friends on face book you already know about my experiences this week but for everyone else...
I work in a field that is very demanding, very technical and almost unheard of for a black woman. So ofcourse I work with alot of men, mostly white men. No problem usually. I've always gone in to a new job experience with people expecting that I couldn't do it or that I wasn't on there level. I'm ok with that. You don't know me and have no reason to think better of me. God has blessed me so much that usually after a month or two these people realize ...Wow, this girl knows what she's talking about and we are able to go on and conduct business.

I try my best to not wear my heart on my sleeve or a chip on my shoulder. I know alot of black people who seem to think everybody is out to get them and they are so paranoid that it is impossible for them to be succesful. I don't want to be like that and always try to see the good in people and hope and pray they really are goodl. I hear alot of comments that could be taken either way. There was gentelman who always called me "gal" and after I noticed that he didn't call the other young lady (who happens to be caucasian) gal I had a nice conversation with him letting him know that I prefered Anna, or Ms. Stocks. I did this very professionally and really didn't think anything of it.

Now this same gentleman always wants someone to answer the phones for him, feels I should take messages for him... Now we do the SAME thing, have the SAME title, and have the SAME type of clients. But again, I put on my little "professional" title and kept the peace...

Until Watermelon.

You see a group of us were talking about having a little Thanksgiving celebration at our job and everyone was going to bring something. One of the young ladies was going around and making a list. One person said rice, a gentleman said soda, so on and so forth. So one of the guys said he was going to bring fried chicken... This prompted another gentleman (The one who used to call me gal, the one who assumes black clients don't have money, the one who thinks we are his secretaries) hunched someone next to him and said" he he he they should bring some watermelon too" or something to that effect.

I didn't know what to do. I just couldn't believe what I had just heard and tried to think of what he might of said that I heard wrong. I just knew that in 2009 this could not be happening.

I was wrong. A few minutes later a woman I work with came up to me and said "did you hear that mess?"

It was real. After all this time we are still living with such racists.

What do we do? Having Angry black woman syndrome gets you absolutely nowhere. I decided to handle the situation with as much dignity as possible. I called a meeting with a manager and the gentleman, informed him that I was very offended by what was said and didn't feel that I should be subjected to such comments. He rolled his eyes, apologized and said it wouldn't happen again.

Do I believe him? absolutely not! But what I did showed him that 1. He will not talk to me any kind of way. 2. I am not what you think I am because if I was I would have acted simple. and 3. He has one more time before I file suit.

Don't let anyone take you out of your character. Remain calm and show them who really has the power.