Detour

It's 9' o clock in the morning and I'm just going to make it on time for work and what happens? I see one of the finest men I've come across in quite some time is a conductor on the a train. We make eye contact and smile. Oh yea he likes me. One problem.

I don't take the A train to get to my job. The A was running on the F line for a few stops but wasn't going where I needed to be. Aint that how it always happens?
I had a choice.
I could take the detour that I knew would be fun but only take me farther from my ultimate goal or I could stay on the path for my destination.

A few years ago I wouldn't have even had to think about it. I would have gotten on the train, gotten his number and had a little fun.

Am I still that girl?

I gave him a wink and let the train doors close. You see I am no longer "that girl", I'm growing into this woman. A woman that is past allowing a "good time" keep me from my future. I've had enough good times to keep me catching up for years. How often have we done something, gone somewhere or entertained something knowing it would deter us from our destinies?

Am I saying that you can't have fun on your path? Absolutely not! But as for me and my house (lol TJSM stand up) we're about more than the right now. We are focused on the forever.

A walk home

I had planned all week what I was going to write today... I had even sketched a little outline. So focused, then on my way home it all changed.

I was walking home from the train station after a long days work. Ever the busy proffesional I was sending an email while talking on the phone and reading texts. I'm a New Yorker so multi- tasking is nothing new to me. I'm able to take care of business and still be aware of my surroundings. As I was nearing my home I saw a known drug addict going up to my house and ringing my bell. I knew my mother was home so I wasn't worried but from a block away when I saw the door actually opened ( My mother would neeeeeevvvver open the door to this lady, Window conversation only) I knew something was seriously wrong.

My baby sister had opened the door and I sprinted all the way to the house. I didn't know what the drug addict wanted but I knew she was not going to get it from my baby. I hurried and told Bre to close the door and I would handle it. The drug addict... let's call her Sue... Sue told me she needed pampers. Does she have a baby? No. You see Sue has abused her body so long that she can no longer control her bowel movements and has to depend on depends. She told me the pampers that Medicaid offers are "cheap" and give her a diaper rash and she wanted to know if I would loan her some money to get the better quality ones....

2 minutes later I'm at the store and a known drug dealer enters the store behind me. Let's call him... Judas. Well Judas has been trying to get with me since I was about 15 years old and today was no different.

"Ms. Stocks, when you gonna stop playing and give me that number"

"When you get a real job" was my reply.

Here comes Sue into the store seeing if she could get some credit from Judas. You could not believe the change in this brothers countenance and attitude. He went from the sweet mack to a pimp that hadn't got paid.

How do we let this happen? How do we let our sons and daughter out into a world like this. Where someone's son can be so disrespectful to someone elses daughter? Where someone's daughter will sell their body for a short high? When did we start doping up our own? Haven't we as a people gone through enough? We blame "the man" for sooooo much but "the man" could have never infiltrated our camp if he didn't have some help from an inside source.

27 Part 1.

September 15th, 2009...
105th anniversay of Wilbur Wright making his first Airplane flight.
46th anniversary of the sensless death of 4 little girls in a Birmingham, Baptist Church.
Ms. Stocks turns 27... Part 1.

Birthdays tend to be a time of reflection for most and I'm no different. I'm looking back on my life and laughing at alot of mistakes, crying at opportunities missed and excited about lessons learned.
It's scary this whole aging thing. You grow up with this plan in your head about what you're going to be and when... and who is going to be there for the ride.

Life doesn't always end up that way. It's not just a straight shot. There are alot of curves and rest stops on the way. Definitely no set destination.

I aim to start this year with one of my favorite scriptures...
Phillippians 3:13... Bretheren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.

I can't worry about what I did, could've been, or would've done. I'm forgetting all of that now.. Now I have to start reaching (Reaching takes effort, can't stand around and wait for things to come to me) for what's in my future!