Ms. Stocks Speaks

For colored girls... So glad I'm not colored... or a girl

2010-12-10T17:31:00.000-08:00

First of all let me say this is not a bad review of "For Colored Girls" the movie. I actually can appreciate it as a movie... and nothing more. The same way I appreciate Mulan or Dreamgirls or Takers ... Movies that may be real life for some people but for me, entertainment.

It took me a while to actually see the movie, I saw too many reviews ahead of time (which I don't recommend, I always think its best to see a movie or read a book on your own with no previous information) and it filled me with too many conflicting ideas. I had half of the world saying "this is the best movie ever", "Best depiction of Black Women in all different levels of Society" and then the other half of the world saying "This is the worst movie ever", "Makes you think all black men are dogs".I thought neither. I definitely don't think its the best movie I've ever seen but its not the worst...What it did make me realize is that I appreciate the Black women I know.

Women , not girls.

My mother and my aunts in particular remind me that we are not as a whole a group of victims that things just happen to.

One situation from the movie in particular just blew my mind!I won't tell the story but Kimberly Elise's character obviously was not raised by a woman like my aunts and momma. I guarantee you that her man would've either gotten right or died if he ever met Esther Louise, Oretha Lee, Patricia Lee, Bertha May, Tanny or Fletta Marie. Trust.

I have experienced bad relationships, jobs, friendships but I'm still not a victim. I work hard to make a change when some things not right for me, my blackness is not a hindrance or an excuse that I fall back on. It is a part of me but not my everything, it is beautiful but not the only thing beautiful about me.

I ask one thing for those who want to see me no matter what race, nationality or sex ... Remember that movie is about colored girls, not Black Women. In my humble opinion

More than a woman

2010-08-14T12:54:00.000-07:00

"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things ... " 1 Corinthiains 13:11

I am on the eve of turning 28 years old :gasp: and I am still striving to live up to this scripture. At this point in my life I've finally got a clear picture of who I want to be. Now just gotta do it.

Relationships? Over it. Lol. Not that I plan or want to be single for the rest of my life (fingers crossed). But that whole dating just to date thing. Soooooo 2009. I'm at this "unchildish" point where I want every relationship in my life to be CLEARLY defined (subliminal) and to have meaning. I just truly no longer have a desire to play around with fake friends or wannabe boyfriends. No thanx!

Work? Yea Over it! This will be my last job (by God's grace). I know most people are content working to pay their bills but... Yea not this chic. I have every intention of becoming an author that is able to take care of herself and her family through her gift. I understand now that I am not like everyone else and will never be happy just punching someones clock. I am happy for the experiences I have had but this too is coming to an end.

Family? We all we got! When I say family I am not necessarily talking about blood relation. Family to me are those people who have and will be there no matter what. People are so stuck on "blood" that they don't appreciate folk who are there and they don't have to be! In my life more often than not its my friends whom I go to when times are bad, not my 3rd cousin (no offence)

So in conclusion ( I hate when I write that but it seems appropriate). I'm living my life to live again and while I'm here I'm gonna live it to the fullest!

-A

Pointing fingers?

2010-08-04T20:56:00.000-07:00

First of all, I sincerely apologize for waiting 7 months :gasps: before writting a new post. I have no excuse, was just extremely lazy.

But the kid is back! owwwww (in my ghetto girl voice)

Now to more serious matters...

I want to dedicate this blog to being Pro Active. Times are rough all around and there are so many people who need help. Many of us point fingers about what our government is NOT doing and who our government is helping but there are very few of us who are actually out there trying to make a difference.

Every time I log onto the net (www.cnn.com and www.nydailynews.com ) there is some new party or group of people dedicated to complaining. Like Dude get a life! Why aren't there any groups popping up to help all the newly unemployed people that can't afford to take care of there families? Instead of complaining about welfare recipients why is no one trying to help those people who are more than willing to work but can't find any jobs?

I've decided to stop being a complainer. I am a part of alot of different groups and organizations and I plan on doing my best to get everybody I work with on board.

You with me?

When Disaster Strikes...

2010-01-25T17:15:00.000-08:00

On January 12 Th, 2010 a 7.0 earthquake hit Haiti. It was the strongest earthquake to hit the country in over 200 years. 200,000 people are feared to be dead. Many of whom will never be positively identified. Homes are lost, the government is gone, there are thousands of orphans...

Everyone from the United States to Israeli disaster teams have started to send aid , Movie Stars, Singers, Musicians, Artists, Entrepreneurs, Businessmen, schools ... Haiti is on every ones agenda. But where were all of us before.

Haiti is the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Even before the quake there were thousands of homeless throughout the country. Many people lived in homes without running water. Over half of the deaths in the country are attributed to HIV/Aids, tuberculosis, meningitis, malaria and respiratory infections.

Wasn't it already a disaster zone?

What makes something a disaster? When is it worth US stepping in and making a change. Why do we have to wait for total destruction to want to start building again. Renovation is much easier than demolition. Could we have stopped the earthquake from happening? Probably not. Could the country have been better equipped to deal with something of that magnitude. Definitely. Could we have saved some more lives? I think so.

What will you do when disaster strikes?

6 months

2009-12-21T18:12:00.000-08:00

First off, sorry for being so lax in updating this blog but I'm a student and have a full time job and raising a 4 year old. Bear with me...

It's so sad but I have to make this post about the "Tiger Woods Scandal". I had no intentions of ever blogging about this. I think it's unimportant and should be dealt with in the woods family. But no, the media and some audience feel that this is still front page news. It blows my mind that we still have troops in Iraq, Brittney Murphy just died @ the age of 32 from a heart attack. We are in one of the worst recessions that we have ever been in. They are trying to charge students transportation fees to get to school. A pregnant woman died at her job with no help from 2 fdny EMT's who were present. A six year old shot and killed a 5 year old in NJ. Banita Jacks got 120 years in jail for killing her 4 children and hiding the bodies within her home.

.. But Tiger Woods losing a gillette endorsement is important?

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying infidelity is by any means ok... but why must we as a society make an already horrible situation that much worse. This indiscretion (or these depending on the reports you read) don't just affect Tiger but they are affecting all those close to him. Including his children.

You should hear the things people are saying... I was in the hair salon the other day and this woman says.
"Hmph that's what he gets for not wanting to be black, If he was some of the brothers could have given him some tips"

I could not believe it. This woman isn't evil or stupid (although I could see how one would think that way after such a statement). She is actually very sweet and I like her... But what does him not professing black power have to do with his life falling apart. (I won't even address the second part of the statement )

I'm going to end the blog with this. Let's try that 6 months rule.
Take 6 months to mind your business and 6 months to leave other folks business alone

*Ms. Stocks*

shuckin and jivin

2009-11-09T18:24:00.000-08:00

Can't believe it and sorry to be the bearer of bad news but... Racism is alive, well and thriving. For those of you that are my friends on face book you already know about my experiences this week but for everyone else...
I work in a field that is very demanding, very technical and almost unheard of for a black woman. So ofcourse I work with alot of men, mostly white men. No problem usually. I've always gone in to a new job experience with people expecting that I couldn't do it or that I wasn't on there level. I'm ok with that. You don't know me and have no reason to think better of me. God has blessed me so much that usually after a month or two these people realize ...Wow, this girl knows what she's talking about and we are able to go on and conduct business.

I try my best to not wear my heart on my sleeve or a chip on my shoulder. I know alot of black people who seem to think everybody is out to get them and they are so paranoid that it is impossible for them to be succesful. I don't want to be like that and always try to see the good in people and hope and pray they really are goodl. I hear alot of comments that could be taken either way. There was gentelman who always called me "gal" and after I noticed that he didn't call the other young lady (who happens to be caucasian) gal I had a nice conversation with him letting him know that I prefered Anna, or Ms. Stocks. I did this very professionally and really didn't think anything of it.

Now this same gentleman always wants someone to answer the phones for him, feels I should take messages for him... Now we do the SAME thing, have the SAME title, and have the SAME type of clients. But again, I put on my little "professional" title and kept the peace...

Until Watermelon.

You see a group of us were talking about having a little Thanksgiving celebration at our job and everyone was going to bring something. One of the young ladies was going around and making a list. One person said rice, a gentleman said soda, so on and so forth. So one of the guys said he was going to bring fried chicken... This prompted another gentleman (The one who used to call me gal, the one who assumes black clients don't have money, the one who thinks we are his secretaries) hunched someone next to him and said" he he he they should bring some watermelon too" or something to that effect.

I didn't know what to do. I just couldn't believe what I had just heard and tried to think of what he might of said that I heard wrong. I just knew that in 2009 this could not be happening.

I was wrong. A few minutes later a woman I work with came up to me and said "did you hear that mess?"

It was real. After all this time we are still living with such racists.

What do we do? Having Angry black woman syndrome gets you absolutely nowhere. I decided to handle the situation with as much dignity as possible. I called a meeting with a manager and the gentleman, informed him that I was very offended by what was said and didn't feel that I should be subjected to such comments. He rolled his eyes, apologized and said it wouldn't happen again.

Do I believe him? absolutely not! But what I did showed him that 1. He will not talk to me any kind of way. 2. I am not what you think I am because if I was I would have acted simple. and 3. He has one more time before I file suit.

Don't let anyone take you out of your character. Remain calm and show them who really has the power.

Show Yourself Friendly

2009-10-26T19:43:00.000-07:00

So you may have noticed by now that this blog is dedicated to things that I experience first hand. I try to jot down things as they happen so I won't forget and this little saying was in my notebook.
It makes me think of a few people in particular. I live in what some would call "the hood". I just call it home. I've been in this neighborhood for twenty... Wait, let's not get technical but I've been here quite a while (lol).
My father is known by EVERYBODY in this neighborhood. When he had his Garage open he would open the gate every morning, stand outside and say hello to every one as they were going to work or taking kids to school. At first some may
Have thought him strange but over the years he has become somewhat of a fixture in this neighborhood. People would come to him for advice, and help and he always there ready and willing. Definitely friendly.

I definitely do not stand outside every morning to greet everyone that walks by but all of us (my parents kids) have a habit of speaking when we enter a room, greeting even strangers when we make eye contact and respecting elders. Friendly.
There is one particular gentleman that we all speak to although most other people don't. His name is Mr. Ernie. At first glance he looks like a crazed homeless person and quite scary. But over the years we have learned more about him. He is a
Viet Nam Vet who lost everything after the war. His wife, kids and his mind. He flips out sometimes and drinks so he doesn't remember. He has never asked me for anything but I always give him a smile and a wave. Respect him by calling him Mr. Ernie
And may even hold a short conversation. Friendly.

I sometimes travel late and alone and like I said before I live in the hood. Not always the safest place to be by yourself. One night I was coming home from Manhattan. It had to be about 2:30 in the morning. It was very dark and quiet. This guy (very drunk) comes
Out of nowhere and starts following me. I got a little anxious and started to walk faster. This made him very mad and he started cursing and moving faster. Out of the blue comes Mr. Ernie. I won't repeat what he said or did but needless to say the
Man didn't bother me anymore. When I tried to thank Mr. Ernie and asked him where he came from he told me that he's always watching for me and my family and not to thank him because we're friends.

Think about it.

whew, long week

2009-10-19T19:51:00.000-07:00

Ok, Ok,

I missed a week of blogging but OH what a long week it was. Very sorry guys!

My brain is a bit scrambled, frazzled and any other word that would describe overworked but I dare not miss another blog date! I love this stuff!

This week I'll write about something that doesn't require me to think at all....

Miyah

The smartest, most beautiful, fantastic 4 year old you could ever imagine. Why is she noteworthy? If you met her you wouldn't have to ask me that question. She is truly an amazing child that I am blessed to be caregiver to.

I want to write about her because our situation is a little sad. She is the daughter of my late sister, Tamecha Lyvette Morgan. My sister, mother and I have taken over the care of Miyah since my sister died in March of 07. I heard someone speak a few weeks ago saying there is no way someone who didn't actually birth a child could actually love a child the way it's mother does.

I have my own feelings on this but would love to hear yours and then do a follow up.

email me: astocks84@gmail.com

wheew rough week..

2009-10-05T20:31:00.001-07:00

I wasn't going to post today but I refuse to be a slacker! This was a very tiring week for me and it's just about to get crazier. I'm 27 and starting school again (Not Fun!), working full time, churching, and have a four year old in pre-school with homework and germs...

But that's neither here nor there. This is going to be a very short post but I just wanted to put something out there for you to think about.

Friends vs. Family

You know the old saying "blood is thicker than water" and everything but is that really true? I personally have some of the best friends (I think ) in the world. These are people who have been there for me through thick and thin (mostly thick, never really been thin) and stood strong. And then there is family...::sigh:: they found me on facebook.

Think about it over this week. Remember I'm talking about real friends. ABC's if you will. Want to take this moment to shout out my ABC (Ace Boon C... ) Wanza, BFF's Bev and Mark and the semi-disbanded Hey Y'all Crew: Charline, Corrien, Cindy, Meika, Tasha, Marquita and Thelma. Love you guys and trust there is nothing thicker than our bond!
-Anna

wheew rough week..

2009-10-05T20:31:00.000-07:00

Detour

2009-09-28T20:57:00.000-07:00

It's 9' o clock in the morning and I'm just going to make it on time for work and what happens? I see one of the finest men I've come across in quite some time is a conductor on the a train. We make eye contact and smile. Oh yea he likes me. One problem.

I don't take the A train to get to my job. The A was running on the F line for a few stops but wasn't going where I needed to be. Aint that how it always happens?
I had a choice.
I could take the detour that I knew would be fun but only take me farther from my ultimate goal or I could stay on the path for my destination.

A few years ago I wouldn't have even had to think about it. I would have gotten on the train, gotten his number and had a little fun.

Am I still that girl?

I gave him a wink and let the train doors close. You see I am no longer "that girl", I'm growing into this woman. A woman that is past allowing a "good time" keep me from my future. I've had enough good times to keep me catching up for years. How often have we done something, gone somewhere or entertained something knowing it would deter us from our destinies?

Am I saying that you can't have fun on your path? Absolutely not! But as for me and my house (lol TJSM stand up) we're about more than the right now. We are focused on the forever.

A walk home

2009-09-21T19:25:00.000-07:00

I had planned all week what I was going to write today... I had even sketched a little outline. So focused, then on my way home it all changed.

I was walking home from the train station after a long days work. Ever the busy proffesional I was sending an email while talking on the phone and reading texts. I'm a New Yorker so multi- tasking is nothing new to me. I'm able to take care of business and still be aware of my surroundings. As I was nearing my home I saw a known drug addict going up to my house and ringing my bell. I knew my mother was home so I wasn't worried but from a block away when I saw the door actually opened ( My mother would neeeeeevvvver open the door to this lady, Window conversation only) I knew something was seriously wrong.

My baby sister had opened the door and I sprinted all the way to the house. I didn't know what the drug addict wanted but I knew she was not going to get it from my baby. I hurried and told Bre to close the door and I would handle it. The drug addict... let's call her Sue... Sue told me she needed pampers. Does she have a baby? No. You see Sue has abused her body so long that she can no longer control her bowel movements and has to depend on depends. She told me the pampers that Medicaid offers are "cheap" and give her a diaper rash and she wanted to know if I would loan her some money to get the better quality ones....

2 minutes later I'm at the store and a known drug dealer enters the store behind me. Let's call him... Judas. Well Judas has been trying to get with me since I was about 15 years old and today was no different.

"Ms. Stocks, when you gonna stop playing and give me that number"

"When you get a real job" was my reply.

Here comes Sue into the store seeing if she could get some credit from Judas. You could not believe the change in this brothers countenance and attitude. He went from the sweet mack to a pimp that hadn't got paid.

How do we let this happen? How do we let our sons and daughter out into a world like this. Where someone's son can be so disrespectful to someone elses daughter? Where someone's daughter will sell their body for a short high? When did we start doping up our own? Haven't we as a people gone through enough? We blame "the man" for sooooo much but "the man" could have never infiltrated our camp if he didn't have some help from an inside source.

27 Part 1.

2009-09-15T01:39:00.000-07:00

September 15th, 2009...
105th anniversay of Wilbur Wright making his first Airplane flight.
46th anniversary of the sensless death of 4 little girls in a Birmingham, Baptist Church.
Ms. Stocks turns 27... Part 1.

Birthdays tend to be a time of reflection for most and I'm no different. I'm looking back on my life and laughing at alot of mistakes, crying at opportunities missed and excited about lessons learned.
It's scary this whole aging thing. You grow up with this plan in your head about what you're going to be and when... and who is going to be there for the ride.

Life doesn't always end up that way. It's not just a straight shot. There are alot of curves and rest stops on the way. Definitely no set destination.

I aim to start this year with one of my favorite scriptures...
Phillippians 3:13... Bretheren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.

I can't worry about what I did, could've been, or would've done. I'm forgetting all of that now.. Now I have to start reaching (Reaching takes effort, can't stand around and wait for things to come to me) for what's in my future!